london fogs, cinnamon mocha cookies, lots of Proust and jazz nights on CBC

...was my life the past week. it was only two years ago my obsessive ambition wouldn't let me enjoy a studyless night. i remember trying to absorb every word in my cell biology textbook, memorizing for hours every conjunction and semicolon so i could show up to class and impress my always-bored professor with petty answers about protein pathways. yet always, i would be amazed at how little i knew; no amount of studying would make me an "educated person," not until i was satisfied.

gradually, the drive to beat everyone else faster than anyone else subsided along with age. it was replaced with an understanding that my 22-year-old self could become no greater or worse by how many answers i got correct on a test. i did not want to live in a textbook. with that, people were not mere numbers, but mysteries with qualities unexplainable by science, to be understood by way of conversation and friendship.

november is always quiet—a solemn month. the coming winter has everyone waiting nervously for exams, holiday vacations, rest.

i should start studying.

today, it feels like i have my emotions back.

it's about time i begin appreciating modern romance.

goodbye toronto

our relationship is only to be continued. you've given me a bout of wanderlust.

july came and went like a summer's night.

at i deal coffee

today i fell asleep under the sun, with a couple of melting ice cubes slowly dripping on my fingertips. an occasional cool breeze blew flower petals over my eyelashes while a stoic cat watched cautiously nearby. it felt like heaven.

colour

dressed in blacks and greys, i feel slightly out of place in toronto. the city is just a sporadic mix of neon and pastels, framed by the occasional grey concrete. more or less, it feels like a bowl of assorted jelly beans.

i've been spending a lot of my free time commuting back and forth from the annex to kensington market, all the while being blinded by rainbow-coloured buildings and bright orange taxis that speckle the roads. add to the mix brightly-clothed teenagers donning their beloved american apparel miniskirts, toronto is literally no different than a jambalaya of dizzying colours creating one giant urban potluck.